The Cliché He Makes Me
by goldielocks75
Summary: She was tuff. She was strong. She was anything but ordinary. But he changed her. He made her act like every other girl in the history of time doing something that has been done for years: she fell in love.  Semi-Fluff with actual content. Please R&R
1. Chapter 1

Hey. So this is my first fic so please read and review! write honest opinions only ;)

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><p>I never wanted to love him. I never wanted to look at him and find anything inside me other than distaste. I never wanted love anyone really. I had watched my mother "find love" and lose over and over again through out my childhood. From what I could tell as a child, it sucked. There didn't seem to be any benefit: it made a perfectly strong person act like a total daffodil, and frequently ended in crying. These are both things I hate. That's another thing love does: makes me a stereotype. I suppose I'm a little ahead of myself though, aren't I? Let me bring you back a little to this whole thing started.<p>

I never even wanted to know him to be honest. I was more then fine with just my best friend. I didn't need anyone else. Even the first day I saw him I did not like him. Perhaps it was out of resentment towards him for "stealing" my best friend. I met him, and if I do recall, the first words I said to him were, "you're such a dork." He was scared of me; just like most of the kids I knew who were my age. But there was a different quality to him too. Sometimes, before I would hit him, I would here him insult me back. I respected him for it. Slightly. He was a total nub and I knew it. But every now and then I would think about him, even in the smallest way, and for a moment I would smile at the thought of the three of us. Then of course I would snap myself back to the reality of my life, the one where I needed to hate him.

After awhile, I only hated him because I was supposed to. It was convenient and easy. My mother had taught me from a young age that there was a certain way I was supposed to act and hold myself just because I was me. A Puckett. I decided it was easier to pretend to hate him then to rock the boat in our already screwed up friendship. And that's what we were by that point I guess. Friends. There were little things done to show companionship: A smile after a jibe, a light punch rather then one that would leave a bruise, and, after awhile, we started having normal conversation. He was still the kid that stuck to my best friend like cling wrap, and we didn't really spend time together away from her. But still, through our show, and endless hours spent working on it, we became closer, and eventually we didn't need Carly there to facilitate our conversations or to make sure there was no awkwardness. Sometimes she would come a little late and I would just talk to him about anything. School, the show, occasionally he would tell me about something incredibly technical, and I would find myself becoming interested. That, of course, does not mean that I did not immediately respond with some sarcastic remark or some stupidly hateful thing.

That was where this started I suppose.

It was a rainy night in Seattle. (See, again with the stereotypes) I got to my best friend's apartment and let myself in. She told me not to pick the lock anymore, but it was unlocked so I wasn't breaking any rules. I really needed her that night and so I went to wait for her upstairs. Now, I'm not really going to go into it, but let's just say that Melanie was on boyfriend number 15 and I was feeling just a little bit down. (Don't judge. I have had one and he hit on my best friend) I went upstairs only to find just the person I didn't want to see there. He looked up from his laptop.

"Sam? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I said. I really didn't want to talk to him.

"Okay then, I know I'm going to regret this, but what's up? You seem a little…down."

"None of your chizz Fredork."

"Sam, you know you can talk to me. I mean, we're friends."

That's when I lost it. I broke a perfectly good 15-year streak of never crying in front of people (excluding my mom of course. But I was little) And, of course, it had to be in front of the person I least wanted to talk to in that moment.

"Sam, are you, _crying?_"

"No," I sniffled while trying to cover my face with my hair. That's when he did something unexpected. He walked over to me, and sat down right next to me. And then he hugged me. That was when it first happened for me, I suppose. In that moment, with my head on his shoulder, I felt that cliché warm fuzzy feeling. And that was it. I had no idea of it then, but after that moment nothing would ever be the same for me.

After I was done, I of course had to punch him in the shoulder, but I also thanked him. He looked shocked which I guess I couldn't blame him for. He never mentioned it though, not even to Carly. It was sort of like our secret, I guess. I liked having a secret.

Soon after that is when I figured out he hadn't kissed anyone. I couldn't explain why it made me so… happy. I hated that it made me happy. I passed it off as excitement over a prank waiting to happen and that's how we got to that one awful iCarly episode. The most memorable part of that for me was my best friend screaming," SAM! You ruined Freddie's life!" I expected not to care. I hoped with every fiber of my being I wouldn't care. But, I knew myself better then that. I knew even as I was doing it that it would hurt him and that I would regret it. But I kept my poker face; I pretended to enjoy his misery. All the while, I might just have been as miserable as he was. You know how they say that misery loves company. So, there's yet another thing that this nub has made me: regretful. I _never _wanted to experience that; I never had before him. That's night's iCarly, I told everyone that I hadn't kissed anyone either. Sure, it was partially due to guilt tripping but I genuinely felt bad regardless. So, I went to see him. He was hiding from his mother on the fire escape at his and Carly's apartment complex. I can't blame him. I would hide too. I knocked on the window. He waved me out. He was playing some cheesy sad music.

"What's up?' I said

"Nothing," he said. He sounded almost defeated. It was sad.

"Meatball?" I said, trying to lift the fog of awkward that had settled.

"No thanks?" He sounded confused. His face always contorted in the same way when he was.

"That was really brave, what you said."

"You heard?" I was a little surprised I don't know why.

"You didn't think I'd miss iCarly." He was smirking. Good sign.

"I'm sorry about telling people you never kissed anyone. And about putting blue cheese dressing in your shampoo bottle. And about-" You know, I'm just going to stop here and say I listed a bunch of the mean things I did. Our conversation from that point was almost nice. He said how weird it would be if I didn't make his life miserable. That almost made me sad. We talked about how stupid it is how people make this huge deal about your first kiss. He suggested (sort of) that we just kiss each other to get it over with. I couldn't explain why, but I was excited for it. Then it happened. I closed my eyes, because that's what they always do in movies and on TV, but I didn't expect anything that happened next. It was like fireworks. It made me think of every good thing that has ever happened to me. That's why my eyes shot open. I assumed that that was how all kisses were; it had nothing to do with whom you were kissing. After a brief 8 seconds of bliss, it was over. There was a bit of an awkward silence. I tried to ignore how much I wanted to do it again and tried not to look at him too much. He began to speak.

"Well, that was…umm…."

'Nice?" I muttered. Understatement of the century.

'Yeah, nice, uhh…" I think this is the most tongue-tied I had ever seen him.

"Nice work," probably one of the stranger things I could have said.

"Yeah, you too," he said. At least I wasn't the only one who liked it. I started to leave when his voice made me turn around.

"Hey Sam?" I really wanted to get out of there. I had too much to think about. "I hate you," he said with a smirk. I guess for him everything was back to normal. If only I could say the same.

After we kissed, it became increasingly harder for me to pretend to hate him. I didn't hate anything about him. It got to the point where I would take things that I liked about him and try to make them negative. Needless to say, that didn't work very well. I really did like him. And deep down I knew that there was no way I was going to get around it. I tried to deny, but then something happened, something that made it so undeniable that there was nothing I could do.

When Freddie pushed Carly out of the way of the taco truck, it only made me like him more. I hated that. It was just something so sweet and kind and, well, him. But that got me to thinking: Would he have done it if it wasn't Carly? What if it was me? Everyone knew that Freddie had been in love with Carly since he saw her, and that was one of the many reasons why I tried unsuccessfully to convince myself that I wasn't into him. When he started dating her, I almost broke. I remember a conversation we had where he said, "You just can't stand the idea of Carly and me as a couple." He had no idea how right he was. He thought it was just my best friend dating someone that I "hated". Every time I saw them together I felt like some obnoxious girl from a teen movie sitting and pinning after some guy. I don't do pinning. What made it worse was that I couldn't even hate the girl he was with for 2 reasons. One, she was my best friend, and I needed to try my hardest to be happy for her as long as she was happy. Two, she hadn't really done anything wrong; she had no idea that I liked him. At the time I didn't really know that I liked him. I needed to keep my mask though. I retorted with a snarky comment and told him without knowing it at the time the thing that would ultimately break them up. After they broke up, my world was somewhat balanced again. It wasn't like girls never liked him, they did of course. It was just assumed by most of the female population that he was hung up on Carly. I did too, but it still benefited me in that girls generally didn't bother to try with him. It kept getting harder and harder to be like the old me. I had to actively think about what Sam who hated Freddie would do or say so that I didn't make my friends suspicious. I hated having it bottled up, but there was no one for me to confide in anyway. I thought so many times about telling Carly, but how does anyone ring up something like that? _Hey Carls, so for the next iCarly I was thinking maybe a potato salad ball and by the way I have a crush on Freddie. _Plus, I knew that she would try to like set me up or something and all I really wanted was to not like him at all. Weeks went by and I kept trying to not like him. I kept telling myself all of these negative things about him that would turn into me thinking about good things about him. It didn't help me at all when he started working out. Good god, then it got to the point where I couldn't stop staring at him, which just made me feel like more of a cliché. All I ever wanted to do was be around him and I couldn't stop myself. I actually tried to be sort of nice to him while maintaining appearances of old me. That's probably when my friends (who are a bit thick not to notice sooner) first started noticing that I was acting different. When we interview interns, I knew that Court was the kind of guy that Carly would find hot, so I played along in hopes of annoying Freddie. It worked well. He was annoyed beyond belief, to be honest so was I. The guy was so stupid you could probably convince him to do almost anything. When Freddie brought in his own intern, I found myself feeling so jealous. Of course, the girl he picked would be my polar opposite in the looks department. She was, of course, fake, but that still stuck with me. One good thing did come out of our search for interns: Freddie met Brad. They would go and do things together without Carly and me. It seemed like the perfect opportunity. They would tell us that they were going to a movie or something and I would jump at the opportunity to spend time with Freddie. I officially belonged in a teen novel.

Right after Brad's first iCarly episode, we were all hanging out and talking about the lock-in that was coming up at our school. As Freddie told us about his project, I sort of zoned out looking at him. It was such a daffodilish thing to do, but I can't deny that it happened. This was just another opportunity.

"Hey, can I work with you guys on your project?" Everyone was shocked. They couldn't believe I had offered to help. After a moment, Freddie squeezed my arm. It took everything I had not to visibly react.

"Feels like Sam," he said. Then, Carly smelled me.

"Smells like Sam," she said. I tried to get them to move on from the shock.

"So can I help or what?"

"Sure you can help," Freddie said. It embarrasses me to admit that I was excited to work on a science project. With a nerd. I had no idea how I had gotten there.

One day, after we were working on our project Brad and Freddie said that they were going to a movie. I had plans with Carly, but I didn't want to give up the chance to spend more time with him. So I asked if I could come. Freddie somewhat suspiciously obliged.

That Saturday night, we were at the lock-in, working on the project. I had gone to go get some things and decided to bring back some food to be nice. Wrong choice. Old Sam wouldn't do something nice for Freddie. He remembered that instinctively and brought me to the side. He questioned my weird behavior. Here I thought I had done such a good job at concealing it. It seems I was wrong. I brush him off and propose we get back to work. After they test the mood face app on me however, Freddie grabs his laptop and runs out. Peculiar. I kept trying to think of why he had run out until I saw Carly later on. She accused me of being in love with Brad. It had been such a random thing. I had no idea where she would have gotten that idea. Naturally I was eager to hear when she offered her source. I was told the mood face app was to blame. My brain was in shock. I was not in love with him. I had barely come to terms with the fact that I even liked him. This was not real. I denied that thing worked even though I knew it did. Freddie made it, of course it would work. Crap. But she wouldn't let it go. She kept telling me how I should go for it and that I should tell him how I feel. If only she knew. If only she had some inkling of an idea as to how wrong things could go. My whole life would combust if I told him. Especially then, when I was apparently in love with him and everyone in our circle knew. I don't know how it got here. She wouldn't even believe me when I denied it. I walked way somewhat in a daze. Half and hour later, Freddie and Carly came in the room saying something about a two headed frog. As everyone started following Freddie out, Carly told me and Brad that there was a head exaggeration. I knew what was happening. When I went to confront her about it later, Carly kept telling me to admit my feelings. I kept my cool until I could leave, but I couldn't take anymore. I went to one of the courtyards and sat on a step alone. And that brings us to the present, I guess. Sitting on a step in a school courtyard, thinking through everything going on in my life. There are so many things that confuse me and are way off from how I thought that they might be. I feel helpless. So that's the one thing I can hate about him I guess. How he makes me act like some waiting by the phone, teen movie watching daffodil that gets hung up on guys. Maybe someday, there will be some explanation for all of the ridiculousness and I can come to terms with it but for now, I'm a cliché.

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><p>So, that was my first fic so please review so I can know how I did :) Sorry it was soo long<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey all! So here's another chapter. It doesn't flow totally, but that's because i originally planned it to be one shotish. Please review so i can know how i'm doing

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><p>I hate the universe. I don't think I have ever hated the universe more then in this moment. There is one person to blame for my hatred, and he was standing right in front of me. I suppose there is no logical explanation for me to hate him: there is no reason I could explain to someone and have them have an "ah ha" moment. It was irrational, another thing to hate about love.<p>

Well, if you didn't already know who was standing in front of me, I guess you do now. Fredward Benson, the kid who I tormented for ages, the one who I hated more then any teacher ever. But I didn't hate him. Not even a little bit. And that is why I hate him so much: because I love him.

He stood in front of me in the doorway for a brief moment before he began to talk.

"Yo yo," he said. I really didn't want to talk to him when the whole reason I was flustered was because of his annoying grin. And those brown eyes. And… and we're getting off topic. He started to come out to join me. Carly must have sent him. Of course, she _would _send him out to come and check on me and try and convince me that she was right. I felt like this should have made me mad, I it didn't. It seemed as if I couldn't muster any emotion other then self-loathing right now. I asked him if Carly sent him. He replied no.

This shocked me just a little. I asked him if he had heard about our argument, which, of course, he had. In a group of our size, information travels fast. That was when he started. He kept telling me about how I needed to put myself out there and try to let the guy I was in love with know how I felt. He had no idea how ironic the whole situation was in my head. I almost started laughing. Had I not been so distracted, I probably would have.

And what, you may ask captured my attention so entirely? It was sort of a combination of things: the subject matter, his appearance, where we were, it all contributed. We were alone. Alone in my favorite part of the whole school. The guy I was in love had basically invited himself into my haven in a place I disliked. Plus, even though it pained me to admit it, he was an attractive kid. I kept trying to look anywhere but in his direction and my eyes seemed to be plastered to his face, noticing even more new things than I thought possible. I heard him talking in such a concerned manner about me and how he and Carly just wanted me to be happy. There was something so sweet about it, and in that moment I realized old Sam would have found it nauseating.

I was also growing frustrated with him for lecturing me when he had no idea how hard it was for me not to jump up and tell him everything I had had bottled up inside me for months. It was for everyone's own good; me spilling my feelings wouldn't help anyone. He had no idea what it was like to keep something this massive hidden even from your best friends. Everybody knew who he was in love with; there was no hiding for him.

I envied that. I was so jealous of his ability to do as he pleased without having the equivalent of a 200-pound weight on his shoulders. He didn't know what it was like to carry my baggage around.

Finally, I threatened him. Subconsciously, I knew that my threats would not affect him at all. I knew that as of recent he had more vigor to argue with me; I could see the determination in his eyes when we argued. It was incredibly hot, but also increasingly annoying in this instance. Even after I threatened to beat him up, he stayed to complete his speech.

As he told me how scary it was to put your feelings out there, all I could do was stare at is lips. They were so pink and welcoming. I remember our first kiss more that almost anything else. I figured out due to some…umm… testing that all kisses don't feel that good. I felt that longing in my chest to do it again and then, as I stared at his mouth mid-sentence I lost it.

I kissed to nub. Again. Even as it was happening I almost couldn't believe it. All the while, he just stood there like a statue. It was almost like he was waiting for me, his body structure saying _Are you quite finished? _ I pulled away after 11 seconds. Perhaps the greatest 11 seconds of my young life, excluding of course the first time it happened. Every fiber of my being was grinning ear to ear. My face, however, tried to maintain a somewhat calm exterior, while the rest of me was both flipping out and happy beyond belief.

I looked at his face. This was the part that the back of my head was screaming about as I kissed him: his reaction. I knew it would kill me to hear his pitiful "Let's just be friends" rejection speech. Even though before it even happened I knew that any feelings I ever could/would have for him were a longer shot then even I could throw, it would still hurt so much more to hear them said out loud. Something about that whole ignorance is bliss thing. When I didn't _actually _know, I could wish for what ever I wanted. Jeez I sound like a pansy. What's worse was, the longer I stood there, the more scared I was. That's right, scared. I felt like a helpless little kid, awaiting the news that their puppy died. It was pitiful.

"Uhh-" he started, but I couldn't listen to him say it. I need to have a straight face for this conversation, and I couldn't right now.

"Sorry," I muttered dumbly. _Sorry? That's all you can come up with Puckett? I never apologize for anything. _

"It's cool," he mumbled. And now were stuck. He looks like he is dying to say something, but can't manage to choke out the words. I can't hear this, not now. I look at him for only a moment; I fully intend to never see him again if possible, and need to look at him one more time. Then, as calmly as I can I begin to walk away.

"Sam!" he yells for me. I ignore him. He grabs my wrist. I feel far to weak to fight him right now. The only place on earth I want to be is asleep on Carly's couch. "Sam! You can't just leave!"

"Let me go Freddie!" I can see the shock plain on his face. I had just referred to him by his actual name.

"Sam, we need to talk about this, I have something to say-"

"What do you want to say Benson? What could you possibly have to say that I don't already know? You want to tell me how you hope this won't affect our friendship right? You want to tell me that you're sorry? Well, I don't need a pitty party, not from anyone: not from my sister, or my mom, or Carly, and most definitely not from you! So let's just forget this ever happened, okay?"

He just stood there for a moment, staring at me. His poker face was almost as good as mine. I waited for him to let me go.

"No."

"Excuse me?" I can't believe that he won't let me go. I can feel tears beginning to form in the back of my eyes. I will _not _cry in front of him again.

"No Sam. You are so sure that you know exactly what I am going to say. You need to let me finish." There was the spunk again. I can't believe that even right now, I can find that unbelievably hot. "This is kind of hard for me to say," here we go…"But it is incredibly possible that I have feelings for you." There it is-wait, what? How could he ever like me?

"I have never kissed a girl and felt as much as I did when you kissed me just then. And that includes when I thought I was in love with Carly. I'm a little confused and would like to think about it some before I give you a definite answer."

Well, I suppose that was better than it could have been. He let go of my wrist allowing me to walk away. I really just wanted to get as far away as I could so I could sift through my confusion, but yet again, he had something to say. "Hey Sam?" Wow, extreme déjà vu. I turned around. "You aren't in love with Brad are you?" His face was blank. Wow. And here, for the longest time I had thought that he was the smart one.

"What gave you that idea?" I said. He smirked. I really wish I didn't love that smirk. I really wish I didn't love him. But wishes only come true in Disneyland, which is why I'm dreading seeing him again more than anything.

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><p>Well, that one was shorter than the last one. Please review so i know to write more. I had an idea to write one more from this perspective then to change it to another character, but kind of going through the same events. Let me know. (And remember, be brutally honest)<p>

-Goldie


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello All! I know that it has taken me FOREVER to update but my brain was kinda clogged, and I want this story to be as good as I can make it. So here I am, a couple months later. I know this chapter is a little shorter than the last but that is merely because I am working my hardest to get the next chapter just right(and to not have it come a month after this one. Please make my day and review!**

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><p>I feel void. Is that even a feeling? Can I say that I today I feel nothing? I wonder what the little face emotion would be for that on the chart in foreign language. Regardless, I guess that's what I feel today. Well, not today as a whole by any means. Earlier today…well, it kinda blew me away. Although, its about 12:10 so I guess that was yesterday. Yesterday was…interesting.<p>

So many things from yesterday keep clouding my head. Now I'm just aimlessly wandering the halls of school. I can't very well go help with my project right now. The person I am trying to avoid will be waiting there. It's not like I should feel bad; I wasn't doing much of anything there in the first place. I suppose that now one of them will have to stop being productive temporarily in order to go and get food though, should they get hungry.

I have no idea how I am supposed to react to everything that is happening. To be honest, I am scared beyond words to hear from Benson. I have only been scared one other time in my life, and that's when I was five and my mother's new boyfriend walked in with a chain saw. I see the resemblance though: between Freddie and the chain saw that is. I guess they have more in common that people ever thought.

Carly would scold me for saying something like that if it ever made it's way out of my mouth. As many insults as I make, that's only ¼ of the ones I think of in a day. Little Carly in my head always yells at me but sometimes I have to ignore it.

_Carly. _Crap. How has it not occurred to me yet that this will affect her immensely? I can answer my own question: apart from the extreme confusion I am feeling, I kind of hate her.

Don't judge me yet! Not that I care, but I have a semi-reasonable explanation for it. No matter how much I love Carls, she'll always be the woman the guy I'm in love with loved. I mean, he says it's in the past, but even if he ever liked me, which is unlikely at best, there would always be that inkling of doubt in the back of my head. I feel like such an insecure little girl saying it, but part of him will probably always love her, and I can't compete.

We are polar opposites, Carly and I. I mean, in appearance and personality, there are few things in common. That's great for our friendship, because that's why we get along so well I think. It sucks for me though, because any guy who was ever interested in something that girlish and _fragile _would not be interested in someone like me.

This. This is what fills my head as I aimlessly wander the halls. Any concept of time that I had has gone out the window; my thought coherency is majorly wavering. There is now where to go, and nothing to do. I consider sleeping, only to decide that someone might seek drawing revenge on me. My heavy eye lids creep slowly down to my nose despite my protests. And that's when it happens: I basically slam into the front of Brad, my nose smooshing on him chest.

"Oh, hey Sam!" he says. Lord, how I wish I could be as carefree as he is. There's nothing sitting on his head the weight of an elephant, just depending on the whims of another.

"Hey," I say. I try to sound enthusiastic, but can tell from his facial expressions that I failed at that.

"You okay?" he asks. That's good. At least it hasn't gotten around at all.

"Yeah, sure," I say. I feel like I am going to collapse. You know how they say that traumatic events make you more tired? Well its true chiz. I walk over to sit in front of a locker.

"You don't look so good. Do you need anything?" Why, oh why couldn't I just be alone?

"Unless you got some fudge then no. Listen, I don't want to be rude, 'cause I like you Brad, but can you please leave me alone?" Wow, I think that is the most polite way I have ever told someone to flake off.

"Uhh yeah sure, Sam. I'll just leave the fudge," He said as he put some down next to me. Who knew kindness would pay off? "Oh, and Carly's looking for you. I'm going to go help Freddie with our project." And there it goes. What seemed like a good ending to a conversation turned sour in two sentences. Freddie probably told Carly. What a nub. I can't believe he would do that. Except, that I can believe it. I probably went to go tell Carly to tell me that he's like not interested or something.

Oh my god since when does my life revolve around him? I am totally one of those annoying girls: the prissy ones who sit and hang off of every word a guy says. I mean, Carly does that, and I love her to death, but that's not who I want to be. I want to be carefree Sam again, who would say screw the guy that doesn't like me and go buy some bacon. That's just it though. It's not just some guy: It's Freddie. Freddie, my personal punching bag. Freddie, kid who followed my best friend around like a sad puppy until we were 15. Freddie, who is always there when I need him, and who I can count on no matter what my problem is. When the app said I was in love, it was a shock to my system. I had accepted that I liked him, but _love? _Love never ends well for anyone involved. Countless friends of mine and my mom have showed me that through the years. I don't think I can come to terms with being in love, and yet, I guess I knew it all along. I know that I would rather just be friends with him so that I could have him in my life. And, I guess I can learn to deal with him having girlfriends. It will break my heart, but I think I'm strong enough to handle Freddie not liking me as long as I can still have him in my life. Just as I was dozing off to sleeping while thinking of this, the person I both wanted to talk to 2nd most and least in the world right now waltzed in.

"Samantha Puckett, we need to have a long talk," said Carly.

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><p><strong>This is kinda cliff-hangery but not entirely. I would like to thank all of the lovely people who reviewed my last 2 chapters:<strong>

**XxThe Penny TreasurexX (Twice!)**

**DangerousLiving**

**SeddierFTW**

**kateseddie123**

**Ah-nonymous**

**Loulock**

**If you already reviewed a different chapter, please make a habit out of it. Otherwise please take the 10 seconds and tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey all! So here's is my update. I hope you all enjoy!_

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><p>Have you ever had a moment where you recognized that everything was going to change? Where you knew that you were at a crossroads; you had put everything you had on the line and now you were just playing the waiting game. If there ever were a phrase to describe me right now, that would be it. I had made perhaps the single most rash decision of my life and whatever the outcome my life was never going to be the same again.<p>

I knew as I was doing it that everything would be different. Kissing Freddie that is. The scary part (or should I say one of the?) for me is that in that moment all the other effects managed to slip my mind. I never let go of things like that.

You are probably confused; probably thinking _what do you mean Sam? You forget homework and responsibilities all the time! _That's just it though: I don't really forget, I just pretend to when it's convenient for me. I "forget" Bio homework; I "forget" to clean stuff up at Carly's house. I would never pretend to forget something important, like iCarly rehearsal. The idea that he had power to make me forget my best friend, even for a minute, actually made me afraid of Freddie Benson. Scratch that. He's far too weak for that: I was afraid of what he could do to me.

I was of course talking about Carly, my semi-pissed off looking best friend standing in front of me. That's when it hit me like a 20-pound sack of potatoes: It had not once occurred to me how much this was going to affect her. When Freddie finally has the heart to tell me that he's not interested (which is inevitable at this point) for at least the next week it will be awkward central. And there will sit my best friend: caught in the middle trying not to pick sides. I feel almost bad for her in that position, but it won't bother her that much, No, ladies and gents, my friend Carly is far to irrational to be pissed at me for something that makes as much sense as that. And I know exactly why she's mad at me.

"Why didn't you tell me you were in love with Freddie?" Wow, can she read my mind? That timing was impeccable for my point. Regardless, I had to deal with her now. You might be sitting there thinking _why didn't you tell your best friend? _Well as previously explained, boys are probably Carly Shay's favorite topic. If she were to find out that I was in love (still weird to think even though I know its true) with our best guy friend, all bets would be off and I know that it would be become her main priority to make us go out together. As much as I liked Freddie, I had no idea how we would function as a couple. We were almost more opposite than Carly, and me if not more. Who ever dreamed us up as a couple has lost quite a few marbles. And yet, he's still the one I think about and smile. He's the one whose eyes I can get lost in with out a second thought. He's… oh crap. Been sitting here a minute and still haven't answered Carly's question.

"So the nub told you did he?" Benson would tell Carly.

"No, I just happened to walk across the two of you kissing in the courtyard! I connected to dots well enough myself. Why didn't you tell me?" Her face looked genuinely hurt, like I had just kicked her puppy or something.

"It's not a big deal…" Wow. Reason #124 to hate love: it inhibits your ability to make witty retorts.

"No big deal? NO BIG DEAL? It's a huge deal Sam! I mean its Freddie; we all hang out like everyday! I can't believe you didn't tell me." When she got sad, let me tell ya, Carly looked like a little kid. I had to do something.

"Carly, I just… I knew you would make a huge deal out of it and I really didn't want Freddie to know. If it makes you feel any better, you are the first person I've told. Well excluding him, but I didn't exactly tell him anything…"

"Yeah I noticed," she said snippily. "We promised no more secrets remember? I thought that we agreed on that." I had to do something and quick.

"Well, how about I give permission to ask me any 3 questions you want? To make up for it." I know I'm going to regret this, but I can't just look at my best friend in the world and do nothing. She's thinking about it.

"Hmm… make it 7." 7? Yeah, I don't think I can do 7. That's Carly's lucky number, probably why she picked it.

"5 is the most I can give you. I don't do spilling my guts well."

"Deal! This is a great idea! Now let me think…"

This is probably going to be the most humiliating conversation of my life. But here goes nothing.

"Ok 1: When did you start liking him?" Oh no. She won't like my answer. If I lie, she'll be able to tell though. Curse her ability to tell when I'm lying. The eager look on her face told me I wasn't going to get off easy either.

"Umm.. well probably since the kiss really, but I didn't really know about it until later." Her mouth opened. Then she hit me. I was as shocked as she was, but for a totally different reason apparently.

"2 YEARS? You have liked him for 2 years?" This is why I didn't want to do this. Her ability to overreact was impeccable.

"Would you cool your chiz! People will hear you!" She was so loud it blows my mind.

"Sorry! Its just, 2 years, that's a long time. Oh my god! That's means you liked him while I was going out with him didn't you! Sam! Why didn't you tell me? I'm soo sorry Sam!"

"Its fine. Next question." I really didn't want to go into that time. That's a particular time in my life that I'm not horribly fond of.

"Okay…I guess. Let's see… Ohh! What's your favorite thing about him?" Now we were just getting mushy. If you answer questions like this doesn't your skin start to exude perfume instead of sweat?

"Next question."

"Sam, you said any 5 questions. This most definitely applies."

"Fine, well, I guess his smile. You know how when he grins his eyes kinda crinkle in the really cute way and he looks beyond blissful? Well," I stopped myself due to the creepy smile on Carly's face. It occurred to me then that this is just the kinda of talk that she liked best; the kind that she had missed out on through all her years being my best friend. I guess for her I could try and play this up a little. "And his eyes. That warm chocolate brown, I would find myself so lost in them that I didn't care if he caught me. Plus have you seen his arms? His working out has paid off." As much as I felt like a despicable daffodil, the look on her face was worth it. She grinned ear to ear, happy with my answer.

"Awwwwww! Sam, that was beautiful. You sure you're not Melanie? That would explain a lot," she joked.

"Hey, just because I don't always share doesn't mean I don't have it in me."

"Well tell me more! Like…have you guys ever had any _moments_? Like other then your first kiss?" Moments? What does she mean by moments?

"Moments…?" my confussion was clearly apparent to her.

"You know what I mean! Like when he did something really nice for you for no reason or you guys had a conversation about something important!" Ohh that's what she meant.

"Yeah we have. Next question."

"Wait, what happened?'

"Sorry, that wasn't your question, it will count as another one," yeah, I know that it's petty but I want this to end.

"Fine! Just tell me!" She really needs to calm down. Here I am metaphorically spilling my guts out, and she looks like a kid in a candy store.

"Well, a week ago, we were waiting for you, because you were late to iCarly rehearsal. Neither of us remembered that we had rescheduled it because of your date. So, we just sat there for hours, talking. I mean, it wasn't really anything special. It was really nice because I felt so comfortable, and we talked about anything. Nothing was off limits, really felt like he let me in."

"Awwwww!" Of course after talking about a deep meaningful conversation Carly had to follow up with a girlish squeal. "That's so sweet! I never knew you had it in you!' Oh lord, now she'll expect this.

"You got one question left Carls so keep it moving." Almost done. Finally.

"Okay… I have the perfect question!" Now I think I'm probably not going to like this one. It's for Carly though, I can survive it.

"What is it that you want to happen out of this whole situation?" And here I thought I could take anything she threw at me. I should have known: Carly always pitched curve balls.

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><p><em>I actually really disliked this chapter because even as I was writing it I kept thinking that is was going to be crazy OOC and that you all would bite my head off for it. PLEASE review, even if your thoughts are negative. I won't be offended and with this chapter in particular i want opinions from you all.<em>

_My Lovely Reviewers for chapter 3:_

XXThe Penny TreasurexX (THANK YOU for your 3rd review)

SeddierFTW(2! :)

iCarlyFTW77

_Come on guys, this list is super short! Anything you think, post it! Please and thank you!_


	5. Chapter 1 Part 2

_Hello lovely readers! If you're someone who take the time to read these let me really quickly explain my absence. _

_1. School at the end of the year is crazy. I finished all of my finals and tried to come right back_

_2. If I write a chapter for the sake of writing a chapter, it won't be very good. I actually have 2 discarded chapters that came before this one._

_So due to the reviews I got (hint hint) that were asking about Freddie's opinion, I wrote this one is his perspective. It's sort of like the first chapter but from his perspective. Please leave me a review!_

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><p>From the day I met her, Samantha Puckett was an... interesting person. Actually, that is the understatement of the century. She was inexplicably unpredictable in everything she did. If the stream was headed north, she did every thing in her power to go south. There is no real explanation for this: none that would seem logical to anyone of sound mind anyway. But those aren't the people I'm surrounded by on a daily basis. Nearly everyone I come into contact with is strange and incredibly quirky in their own right. You may be led to wonder if everyone is so strange, why do I take such interest in this one person? Why not accept the oddities around you and move on? To be honest, I had absolutely no idea. I <em>still <em>constantly ponder why I am so infatuated with her particular brand of weird, but to understand as well as I can, I need to start from the very beginning.

When I first met her, I was so incredibly sure I was in love with her best friend, that it annoys me today that I was like that. I know now of course that it was some sort of a complex I had so I really only liked her because she was so nice to me, but at the time, I was convinced we were soul mates. When I figured out I was going to be meeting one of her friends, I wanted her to like me so much, for if her friend liked me it was the first step to her liking me. But nothing in my life could have prepared me for meeting her friend: She was nothing like my over-protective mother had ever allowed me to be exposed to before. She instantly didn't like me from the moment we met, and although that stung a little, I was so interested in what made her that way, that way that could only be described as her.

I tried so hard from that first day on to figure out what made her tick. Despite the fact that she was beyond abusive to me, I was so interested that I kept coming back. Our group dynamic was beyond interesting, anyone outside probably thought I was crazy for remaining so close to the danger zone. But, anytime I even thought for a second about leaving, 2 things always pulled me back: My love for Carly and the curiosity that Sam caused me on a regular basis. And, as time went on, the second one became the more heavy reason to stay.

I couldn't understand how one person could be so mutli-sided without being bipolar: one minute she would be punching me in the shoulder and the next she would be telling Carly about how cute some boy was. Strange.

When she got her first non-middle school boyfriend, it was weird for me. As much as I thought I was in love with Carly, I was angry at her for going out with one of my friends. I wrote it off as being mad at her for not showing up to things and ditching our rehearsals, but I missed being able to see what she would do that day, I missed the light banter, and strangely enough I missed the beatings.

When Carly explained to me what had happened I was beyond mad. I kept thinking that if I were bigger I would go and beat that guy. I kept thinking that if someone did that to my "love" that I would pumble them. I cursed my scrawny arms and pre-pubescent awkward size. But he was taken care of, as was to be expected when that girl was involved.

As she continued with her abuse, I started to wonder something. Because it would shock her, I wondered if I should try talking back sometime after she insulted me. The first time, I saw her eyes get wide, and she smiled so quickly that if I had blinked I would have missed it. I liked the smile, it was almost like an inside joke we had. So I continued to insult back, and she continued to smile (before hitting me of course) that was probably when we first became any sort of friends.

After that, our lives went on as usual for a while. Our web-show was booming and I felt like Sam and I were finally getting to a point of friendship. We could have normal conversations on occasion and it was getting to the point where we could even talk without Carly having to be there to stop Sam from beating the crap out of me. That was when it happened.

My mom was driving me particularly insane that night, and I had to get out of the house. As much as I loved my mom, she needed to understand that I wasn't going to leave like my dad did. The funny part is that her being the way she is now is more likely to make me want to leave then anything else. Regardless, is trying to escape my mother I went over to Carly's to hook up some new cables for iCarly. I called her first and she told me that no one would be home but I could go ahead anyway. I guess she understood the wrath of my mother better than I thought.

I had been up there for about 20 minutes when I heard footsteps. _Probably Carly _I thought, but right as I was about to call her name I saw none other than the curly locks of Sam Puckett. I smiled. _This should be interesting._

"Sam? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she replied. She looked upset and her eyes were rimmed in red. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it looked like she had been... crying.

"Okay then, I know I'm going to regret this, but what's up? You seem a little…down."

"None of your chizz Fredork." I was so sure she was going to punch me. So sure in fact that I almost flinched in mere anticipation. But, when the blow didn't come, I couldn't let it go that easily. I had never seen her look so defeated.

"Sam, you know you can talk to me. I mean, we're friends." That's when it happened: something that I never thought would happen in a million years. A year prior if we had played 2 truths and a lie and the next occurrence was with a t-rex attacking Seattle and a giant teddy bear eating me, I'd have said the first one for sure. And yet there it was before my very eyes: Sam Puckett, crying.

"Sam, are you _crying?" _Okay, stupid question I know. But I was in a state of utter shock. I couldn't believe my own eyes. To make matters worse, I felt bad for her. My tormenter for ages sat crying, and all I could think of was how much it broke my heart to see her like that.

"No," she managed to sniffle out while trying to cover her face with her hair and sitting down. But the damage was already done; there was no unseeing that. So I went on instinct alone in that moment. I walked over to her and sat down next to her and took her in my arms. I expected her to shove me away, but of course because that's what I would have expected her to do, she had to do something different. I felt her face burry into my chest, all the while thanking god that puberty had finally hit and I was now bigger than she was.

We stayed that way for god knows how long until eventually she was done and she got up, punched me in the shoulder, and said thanks. I was shocked, but still appreciated it nonetheless. We never mentioned that moment ever again. I figured that was how Sam wanted it, and plus I didn't really have anyone who I felt needed to know. That moment…it was private, just between her and me, and I felt like it belonged that way. It just seemed right.

Sam always had a way of making me miserable. This time however really took the cake. In the middle of iCarly, Sam shared…umm… a very personal secret of mine, which she wasn't even supposed to know about. Let's just say that it was the kind of secret that made people question your manhood and I was made fun of incessantly for it. I missed 2 days of school trying to avoid the stupid kids with less than clever jokes.

In hindsight, I feel incredibly immature for having skipped for that. I mean really, the fact that I was ditching probably just would have made it worse. That is, if Sam hadn't stepped in. She defended me that night on our web show, threatening anyone who would insult me. Then she did something more shocking (I really need to stop being surprised by anything she does); she told all of the iCarly viewers that she had never kissed anyone either.

I was surprised to say the least. Not only had she done something nice for me without puking, but she had also put her reputation on the line for me.

So, when she came to see me, as I expected, she apologized for all kinds of crap she had done to me and I listened open-mindedly. Then of course she followed it by telling me she was by no means going to stop, which is just how I would have wanted it. A Sam that was nice to me on a regular basis is weird, but I'm getting a little ahead of myself here.

We talked for a while about how annoying it is to have that first kiss pressure and how everyone gets so hyped up about how perfect it should be. Then, almost as I she read my mind, she suggested exactly what I had thought about but was too afraid to say out loud: that we kiss. It was "just to get it over with" but I honestly don't think I would have done it with someone I wasn't as close to as I am to Sam.

The kiss itself was blissfully peaceful in everyway. It felt like my insides were being filled with hot syrup, and that we were the only important thing in the world.

After that though, everything was as it was. There was little awkwardness between us, because that was just us. We functioned like that. Although, I guess that is when Sam first started to act a little off.

When I started to go out with Carly, it seemed like everything I had ever dreamed of was falling in my lap. Except it wasn't. There was always a little voice in the back of my head telling me that something was off. All I really need to figure it out was Sam. All that Canadian bacon crap sounded really convincing, but I guess I always knew.

After the break-up, I really stopped looking at Carly that way at all. There was something that bothered me non-stop though: when I was dating Carly, we would kiss and all I could do was compare everything she did to what Sam did. I would think the most random things like _Sam tasted more like ham and less like sugar. I liked the smoky ham flavor. _Or even weirder _I think that Sam's lips were less spitty. There was definitely less moisture involved. _Frankly, I hated the little voice in my head for all of these ridiculous (but true) thoughts.

We all dated other people. It was the natural way that things should happen. No one except Carly had any sort of a relationship over a month though. That's why the webicon ordeal was so interesting to me I guess. For the first time ever I thought about Sam in that way. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I wasn't aware that she is an attractive girl; I'm a teenage boy, we notice that kind of thing. I just never let myself think further before, because I assumed it was something that could never be. And yet, there was a part of me that wondered if it could ever even function properly.

Sam started acting strangely thought. She started doing random nice things for people and giving out compliments. It wasn't consistent with any of her normal behavior and I was kind of worried about it. I had a conversation with Carly about it, but she put it off as some phase or Sam maturing. I couldn't shake that something was different though.

When Brad came, it hit me like a slap in the face (I was really starting to miss those). Even though she followed Carly in choosing Kort to be the new intern, she still liked Brad. It made so much sense. He wasn't like any guy Sam had ever liked before, but he always had food to share, which had always been the way to Sam's heart. Given it took technology to make the first real connection, but it made a lot of sense.

When Carly told me to help her help Sam, I realized there was no way I was going to get out of this, so I helped. I wanted Sam to be happy, but there was this roaring in my chest that got progressively angrier with me. Sam apparently got mad a Carly for our meddling, and she is relentless in her claim that she doesn't love Brad. But what else could it be? What else is there that could make Sam act so incredibly un-Sam, and get her hiding things from her best friends. As I see here through the courtyard window, a million questions are swirling in my head. But taking a deep breath before I go out to bother her, I know one thing for sure: this changes everything.

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><p><em>So, what did you think? Please let me assure you that the next chapter I write will be continuation and i will write it ASAP. To my lovely reviewer from last chapter:<em>

**XxThe Penny TreasurexX: **_Thanks for your continuous reviews!_

**Waffles Of Doom**

**iCarlyFTW77**

**SeddierFTW**

**iCarlyFTW77**

_Your reviews make my day! Please review!_


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